The Potter's House

Sunday, 4.13.14

I have let to go…I am numb, but I have to let go. I just can’t continue to think about it…dream about it…obsess about it.  So I have to let go.  I prayed about it, and I have left it in God’s hands.

If this is meant to be, it will happen on its own, with God’s help. I do not want this if it is not ordained by God himself.

My attitude…was this easy to come by? No. It is NOT easy…WAS not easy to come by…when is it EVER easy when it comes to this? How could coming to a conclusion such as this ever be done lightly, or easily? What parent does NOT fight against, rally against, pray against the worst possible odds for their child? Even when logically, they know them to be true?

 But if it is not His will, then it will not be. And if not this one, then I know the next one.  

I don’t really want to go to church today.  I don’t really want to face the people there.  No.  It’s not because they are not nice…it’s because they are.  Does that make sense? Sometimes, you just can’t handle the niceness, and the goodness of people when you are preparing for your personal storm.

Right now, everyone coming up to me with well wishes and congratulations.  I don’t know if I can handle that right now.  How will I keep from crying when the well-intentioned people come up to wish me well, and I don’t even know if things are going well?  

I am trying to remember that life and death lie in the power of one’s tongue. But at the same time, I am also conflicted with knowing that whatever God’s will is, is what will transpire.

So I am stuck…should I continue to speak life, until God says otherwise?  Is that how this works?  I speak life, and then what?  Because I have to be honest with you…to speak life, and then it happens to not be God’s will…I think I will be crushed again.

That is where some of my confusion lies. I understand that the Bible says the power of life and death lie in the tongue…but how do you speak life, if God says no?  Then, am I not just bugging the bejesus, out of God?

And so it was decided—I was not going to go to church today.  But I had a dream last night…it was not a defined dream…per se…you know? It wasn’t like a dream where I could see people…it was a song from my childhood that kept playing over and over in mind during the night.  It was a song I woke up signing, and I do understand what it means.

I may get in to a lot of trouble for doing this due to copyright laws, but I pray that if this is ever seen, the responsible party will understand how much solace I found in these lyrics:  

In case you have fallen by the wayside of life; 
dreams and visions shattered, you’re all broken inside. 
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in; 
the potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again. 

In case your situation has turned upside down, 
and all that you've accomplished, is now on the ground. 
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in; 
the potter wants to put you back together again, 
Chorus: 
You who are broken, stop by the potter's house. 
You who need mending, stop by the potter's house; 
give Him the fragments of your broken life, 
my friend, the potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again 

There is healing in the potter's house. 

You'll find everything you need in the potter's house. 

And so with that song in my dreams, that song on my lips, that song in my heart, I got up this morning, I prepared my child and myself for church, and we went (This was Tommy’s weekend to work at the hospital).  

Once there, I immediately sought out my pastor—who is everything you could ever ask for, including accessible.  He immediately took me in to his office, and he prayed with me, and he prayed for me.  

Rain or shine…win or lose, I am better.  And even though my mind is still logical, and prepared for anything…my heart and my soul, are bracing for the realities, and the harshness of life.  “…give Him the fragments of your broken life…Because the Potter wants to put you back together again…”